i

i don’t know why I’m still awake. waiting for a message from you saying you’re sorry and you want me more than anything, but that’s not going to happen. you’re all i can think about. you’re all i want. i wish you knew how much you meant to me. I’m sorry if I’m an asshole to you. its what i have to do to make sure i don’t completely fall for you again. hah..i say it like I’m not completely in love with you as it is. i don’t know. I’m going crazy. 

This is a lonely blog with no followers. Completely unseen by anyone on the internet. No one will see this, and that is okay. I fell in love at the age of 14. You don’t have to believe me, I don’t expect you to, but I know I did. Her name? It’s been rattling in my heart and humming in my heart for two years now. Her name will be left unsaid for now. If this ever gets around to you, I’m sorry. i know you’re tired of me trying to get you back, but I can’t stop. Especially when every last bone in my body tells me we’re meant to be together. I love you with all of my heart. Ever since you left, I’ve been nothing but empty and the only feeling I have felt has been aloneness. I was willing to spend my life with you and I still am if only you would come back to me. I know you’re happy dating one of my best friends whom I introduced you to, but no matter who I say I “like” or who I may date, they’re nothing compared to you, only minor distractions so I won’t be tempted to harm myself for doing whatever I did for you to leave. Whatever I did, I’m sorry, if there was any way possible for me to go back and change it and make you see how much I truly care for you, I would. I would do anything for a second chance. ANYTHING. I love you without end. If you never come back to me, I just hope one day you’ll know how much I care about you. And if you ever want to come back, know I’ll be here, waiting to be able to wrap you in my arms once more. I miss you and I love you. You’ve been a ghost who has been haunting me for two years. I’m not sure you will ever leave.